In our last post, we talked about how children, like adults, can develop a strong attachment to familiarity, making them increasingly resistant to change the longer they stay within their comfort zone. As the attachment to the familiar solidifies, stepping outside of that secure zone can feel intimidating, hindering their ability to adapt to new situations.
This post will explore one of the common mistakes that most caring parents make that can impact their child’s ability to handle difficult subjects.
The Recipe for Raising Bubble Kids
Have you ever met adults who seem overly sensitive to criticism? It’s like walking on eggshells around them, constantly mindful of every word and action to avoid triggering a negative reaction. These individuals can perceive even subtle comments as personal attacks and are often inflexible, having expectations that others should accommodate to their needs.
Ever wondered how these adults were brought up as a child? Bubble kids are children who are raised in a highly protected and sheltered environment. Their parents often take a very hands-on approach, shielding them from potential dangers, challenges and negative experience. This creates a barrier between them and the outside world, hence the term “bubble kids”.
Driven by a strong desire to protect their children from harm and ensure their success, these parents create an environment where their children are shielded from discomfort or challenges. These overprotective parents often monitor their children closely, limiting their independence and decision-making, creating an environment that makes it hard for their children to step out of their comfort zone.
When their children express a desire to try something new or take a risk, overprotective parents may use phrases like “You can’t do that!” or “It’s too dangerous!” to discourage their children from trying. This negative reinforcement can condition their children to associate stepping outside their comfort zone as undesirable.
It’s like raising a bird that has never been taught or given the opportunity to hunt for food, believing it will always be fed and told that seeking food on its own is a dangerous behavior. When this bird is finally forced to leave its sheltered environment, what do you think its chances of survival will be?
While overprotective parents may believe that their methods can nurture a champion child. In reality, they are creating unrealistic expectations and preparing their child for a world that does not exist. When these children eventually face the real world, they are often unprepared for the huge differences between their sheltered upbringing and the complexities of life.
Not having to face many setbacks in their sheltered environment, they do have possess the resilience to deal with these discrepancies. Resilience is often demonstrated in one’s ability to handle setbacks and move on as well as handling criticisms. They grow up to become adults who struggle with low self-esteem and are super sensitive to criticisms.
These behaviors also extend to their learning habits, making them inflexible and less adaptable in their methods, clinging to what’s familiar. When faced with tough questions, they may choose to remain helpless and have an expectation that others should step in to help, rather than embrace discomfort and uncertainty to do what is necessary to understand the topic they are learning.
Interested to find out more on how your parenting can help your child develop resilience? Follow to find out more in part 9.
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